Who are you?

I often look at persons involved in ministry and see how sucessful they are and wonder how can I be like them. I've been to places where the opening prayer had the church in a disarray and on the ground. I've seen where one song could upset and entire meeting. I have seen where the piano being played invites a spirit of worship and have persons meet with God.I often asked God when will I be able to lead people into your presence like that. When will I be able to sing one song and just have people worship like that. When will I be able to pray and the sick be healed. Lord when will that be me.
And then sometime in the space of yesterday and today I realised how many times I said 'I' in those conversations.I didn't care about what God wanted, I cared about what I could do. I cared abput what I wanted to do. It was about bring glory to God on my terms and in my own way. I had to cry out to God this morning. Begging and pleading for forgiveness. All I want really is to please him. To be able to serve him not because I Know I should but because I love him. It really isnt about me at all. And we sing the song and I honestly believe that we mean it sometimes, but in some way we are still waiting to hear "You did a great job today' or "wow you killed it: or "You were excellent" when really it isnt about you. Those persons didnt come to see or hear you. They dont want you. They dont want me. They dont care about how well we can sing, preach, pray. They want Jesus. They just want Jesus.
I cried soooooooooooooo much this morning because I realised how much I was trying to take Glory for myself and it wasnt mine to have. And to me, my pride was dealt with but it came in so subtlely. I realised it when I would get upset that someone didnt choose me to minister or when after I felt i did a good job, no one commended me. God had to teach me that no other opinion mattered other than his own. And now I can comfortably say that nothing else matters if his presence lives in me. I dont have to sing one more note, I dont need to pray for anyone, I dont even have to be an usher, as long as I know he is pleased with me. I can with all confidence say "Its all about him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"