A Lesson Well Learned

As most of you know I am a singer. I was entrusted with this gift and I have made it my mission to use it. That I believe was my downfall. All my life I have had people tell me that with a voice like mine I should have a CD. Everyone expects me to have a career in the music industry because that's just what good singers do. So for year I have been waiting my turn. Waiting for God to open the door, give me the opportunity to be the star. I cried, I prayed, I argued because for me , it was what I was meant to do. Everyone else said so.

So recently doors have opened and opportunities arrived and I took it upon myself to run after them. I didn't feel like I shouldnt. It was cool. With every door that opened something was required of me. It wasnt anything that I hadn't done before. Simple right.  I asked God to give me signs. I just believed that this was for me. It was my time. However with every passing day I grew more and more stressful. Things were falling a part and not coming together. Learning from the perspective of a Manager, an Agent and musician was very different. Having to deal with photo shoots and traveling and all the other cray stuff that comes with the territory was stressful and tiring. 

Today I sat and considered all that's happening in my life right now and I almost cried. I felt so over whelmed. I felt like I was going crazy and I kept saying Help me Jesus Help me Jesus Help me Jesus!

It was then, in my most vulnerable state, when I could take no more that God had to show me I was doing my own thing. You see He knew what the business was like from the beginning. He knew how stessed out I would be in it. He knew that it wasnt for me. He tried to tell me but I allowed what others defined me to be, to be the thing that I aspired for.

I have been asked to choose between my ultimate career goal, (To open a school for the performing arts) and what I like to do (sing). After being so deep in it I just want out. I know that I wont enjoy it. The fun of doing what I do now is that I do it out of the love for it and not to make money. I do it for ministry purposes and not for the fame. I do it as service unto the Lord and not to make my Manager happy.

I have acknowledged that God would never afford you opportunities to stress you out or drive you crazy. God will not give you anything that makes you uncomfortable or uneasy or stressed out. God just knows best. This week I learnt that I know cannot run my life. God has to be the driver. God has to be the author of my story, otherwise I will go CRAZY! The minute I accepted that I don't know what I need and what's best for me I was at peace. All worry and stress left.

I said all this to say:

God will not give anything to you to fix. He will not give you anything that brings you hurt and pain. Some of us are in relationships we should not be in. We believe we can change the person. We believe that he/she is God's gift to us. God will not place you in a stressful, unhappy, abusive relationship. God loves you too much. Trust that the moment you let go and let God, He will show up. My prayer is that this day we relinquish all control and allow Jesus to take the wheel!

God bless!  

A Living Testimony

If someone had told me three years ago that I would be the woman I am today I would have laughed at them. If someone had tole me three years ago that in three years I would go through the things that I went through I would have never believed.

I realise I worry a lot. I am a highly organized goal- oriented person, so when my graduation time was coming up I began questioning God. God, in His Divine way of doing things told me nothing except to trust that He knows what He's doing. That was not good enough for me in my limited knowledge.

So I worried, I cried, I argued, I fussed, I cried (did I mention I cried) and all i ever heard was trust in me.
This was the most difficult thing to do ever! I never thought that It would be this tough. Waiting in silence was excruciating.

The great thing about God is, He is not moved by our tears. He is not moved by our angry venting or our fussing. God knows best. He knows the right timing for you blessing! He knows the desires of your heart. He sees how hard you work. He know what you're ready for and what you're not. Trust that He know what He is doing.

I had to. I became tired of hearing things like "Trust and Obey" and "The steps of a Righteous man are ordered by God". But in times like these, when you look back, it is exactly true. You may not have wanted to hear it but is true. God has your back and just when you think its over, just when you think your strength is gone and you have no more God shows up.

Your issue may not be mine. Your circumstances may not be my circumstances  but God wants you to Stand still and KNOW that He is God. He also wants you to know that He is able to do exceeding and abundantly above all we could ever ask or thing. Trust, wait and you will see!

Oh what a pleasure it is, to serve such a God. To have fellowship with a Mighty God . To have the assurance that He is concerned about you. I don't know about you, but I feel blessed!

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;

Proverbs 3:5

A Beautiful Heart...

I was viewing a popular talk show today that was dealing with girls under the age of 12 requesting plastic surgery. These girls criticized everything from their skin colour, shape of their eyes even the shape of their mouths. These girls were serious. Some were influenced by the home environment and others just had low self esteem. I don't know about you but at 12 I was still playing hopscotch and marble pitch in my yard. I had no idea what botox or rhinoplasty was and I don't feel like I missed out on anything.

A study was done on how low self esteem leads to several of the issues facing us today. Promiscuity, drug use and gang violence can all be traced back to low self esteem and self worth.

I did have my issues. There were times when I didn't like what I saw when I looked in the mirror. When I was younger I never thought I was beautiful. I thank God though for a family (not only biological) who could help me see and understand that I was.

However, I did not really grasp the concept until I became a Christian. You see if we do not understand that we were created in the image and likeness of a perfect, beautiful, talented, mighty amazing God, we never see how beautiful and talented we are. We will never know that beauty truly has nothing to do with the outward appearance. We will never understand that beauty has nothing to do with how slim or thick we are. It has nothing to do with how many people tell us we 'pretty' or 'ah bess ting'.

A heart that seeks after God is a beautiful heart and that beauty radiates and spills over into every aspect of your life. A heart after God is what makes you beautiful. A heart that experiences the unconditional love of God belongs to a beautiful person.

So I am going to let you know just in case no one has ever told you.

YOU were created in the image and likeness of a BEAUTIFUL God. YOU are BEAUTIFUL. YOU are GOOD enough. YOU are STRONG, GOOD LOOKING, TALENTED, BOLD, QUIET, LOVELY, EDUCATED and EXCEPTIONAL enough to do whatever you put your mind to. Do NOT allow ANYONE to tell you who you are. GOD defines you and He is writing your story. LOVE YOURSELF cause there is only one you! YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.  :-)

Ps 139: 14

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

your works are wonderful,

I know that full well.

Dead Weight!

John 15:1 and 2 states“I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. ² He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.

I woke up this morning with the words dead weight on my mind. I was confused at first but I allowed God to show me where he was going.

He asked the question why are we holding on to the branches He is trying to cut of in our lives? There are a lot of Christians walking around depressed all the time. Don't give me wrong, I am not saying that we are to be happy all the days of our lives but it depression should not rule our lives.

We walk around depressed all the time because we chose to hold on to our dead weight. These branches that bear  no fruit in our lives. We hold on to them, become depressed and then ask God to help us carry them, when God wants you to get rid of them.

This dead weight could be anything or anyone. It could be a disruptive relation with a man or woman we believe we can change. This dead weight can be unforgiveness. This dead weight can be worrying about tomorrow and not letting it worry about itself. This dead weight could be friendships that prevent you from reaching your full potential or accomplishing what God wants you to.

I know from personal experience that it is not easy to get rid of dead weight and even today I am still learning. Just think though of how light you would feel when its off. Think about all the things you will be free to do, all the things you can accomplish if you would just allow God to cut off these branches and get rid of the dead weight your carrying. I hope this is your prayer also-

God, I am tired of carrying around this dead weight. It is heavy and getting to unbearable. Help me to trust that you know what's best and that you will withhold no good thing from me. Please Father, help release this dead weight, in Jesus name, Amen.

Tye Tribbett - When the Rocks Hit The Ground