A Lesson Well Learned

As most of you know I am a singer. I was entrusted with this gift and I have made it my mission to use it. That I believe was my downfall. All my life I have had people tell me that with a voice like mine I should have a CD. Everyone expects me to have a career in the music industry because that's just what good singers do. So for year I have been waiting my turn. Waiting for God to open the door, give me the opportunity to be the star. I cried, I prayed, I argued because for me , it was what I was meant to do. Everyone else said so.

So recently doors have opened and opportunities arrived and I took it upon myself to run after them. I didn't feel like I shouldnt. It was cool. With every door that opened something was required of me. It wasnt anything that I hadn't done before. Simple right.  I asked God to give me signs. I just believed that this was for me. It was my time. However with every passing day I grew more and more stressful. Things were falling a part and not coming together. Learning from the perspective of a Manager, an Agent and musician was very different. Having to deal with photo shoots and traveling and all the other cray stuff that comes with the territory was stressful and tiring. 

Today I sat and considered all that's happening in my life right now and I almost cried. I felt so over whelmed. I felt like I was going crazy and I kept saying Help me Jesus Help me Jesus Help me Jesus!

It was then, in my most vulnerable state, when I could take no more that God had to show me I was doing my own thing. You see He knew what the business was like from the beginning. He knew how stessed out I would be in it. He knew that it wasnt for me. He tried to tell me but I allowed what others defined me to be, to be the thing that I aspired for.

I have been asked to choose between my ultimate career goal, (To open a school for the performing arts) and what I like to do (sing). After being so deep in it I just want out. I know that I wont enjoy it. The fun of doing what I do now is that I do it out of the love for it and not to make money. I do it for ministry purposes and not for the fame. I do it as service unto the Lord and not to make my Manager happy.

I have acknowledged that God would never afford you opportunities to stress you out or drive you crazy. God will not give you anything that makes you uncomfortable or uneasy or stressed out. God just knows best. This week I learnt that I know cannot run my life. God has to be the driver. God has to be the author of my story, otherwise I will go CRAZY! The minute I accepted that I don't know what I need and what's best for me I was at peace. All worry and stress left.

I said all this to say:

God will not give anything to you to fix. He will not give you anything that brings you hurt and pain. Some of us are in relationships we should not be in. We believe we can change the person. We believe that he/she is God's gift to us. God will not place you in a stressful, unhappy, abusive relationship. God loves you too much. Trust that the moment you let go and let God, He will show up. My prayer is that this day we relinquish all control and allow Jesus to take the wheel!

God bless!