The text basically said that they had a dream about me and in that dream i was dead. They were crying out to God for my sake and God said that to long I have been warned and i needed to get my life in an order or i would loose my life. Now i dont know if this was spiritually of physically but i didnt care either way. I did not want to die any death. It was though like a confirmation of all that I was feeling. I knew that the message was for me and right there and then I spoke to God. I had meant it all the other times I said it but this time I asked for forgiveness making an extra effort to live right.
At this point I dont know what I was doing right from wrong, what i did was to try and live as morally right as possible. My life began to reflect truly who God is and I became the light he called me to be. I knew many biblical principles but now i was living them. God had a lot of things to work on in me and I was okay with him taking them away.
Since then I have been doing my best (with the help of the Holy Spirit) to become the wonam he wants me to be. I have been blessed with many people in my life who has promoted the growth of my Spiritual Life. I have lost quite a few friends though. God requires sacrifice and one of the things I had to sacrifice was me and my wants and my desires. I was asked to surrender my self completly and I did. God asked me to leave the choir and I did. Some friends didnt understand I took for God and I lost them. Some thought I became too 'Holy' and ran in the other direction.
It has been truly awesome with God and my life has changed for the better. I do miss the friends I have lost but I know God has a plan in store for me and His opinion is THE opinion.
And do not get me wrong. I am not perfect. I still fall on occassion. But God is and awesome God! And by his grace and mercy I will get through.
At this point I am...I not to sure what I am...but I am sure that I am not where I was and I thank God for that!
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